NFP?

"Are you all sure that you don't want me to prescribe you some birth control?"

"Call me if you change your mind and I can send something over to your pharmacy"

These sentences are what I hear from my doctor after I deny birth control.

Yes, I'm sure and no I won't change my mind.
(My doctor is awesome by the way, she is just doing what she has been trained to do)

When Brett and I were married, during the Mass and within the exchange of vows, the priest looked at us and asked us, "Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church?" Accepting means to consent to receive. We both said yes to receiving what God wishes for our life together.

We chose NFP because we believe that marriage is to be free, total, faithful, and fruitful. In choosing to contracept, we are not allowing our marriage to be any of those. Our marriage can't be free because it is being manipulated by our own selfish desires, it can't be total because we are holding back our fertility. It is not being faithful because we are not being faithful to God and to ourselves to what we consented to in our wedding Mass. And, we are definitely not allowing our marriage to be fruitful.

The Catholic Church is against contraception not because we believe everyone should have 15 kids or because we are not with the times, or we believe sex is bad (actually the opposite). Contraception separates the sexual act from one of its intrinsic purposes: procreation. Marital love should be unitive and procreative. This doesn't mean that each encounter will result in a new life but that a couple should be open to that possibility. If a couple needs to prevent a pregnancy, then abstinence during the fertile window is the approved method. (more information here). Contraception is a barrier between spouses — it prevents them from truly bonding with one another during their marital act. It also changes how the spouses view one another and treat one another. It can breed disrespect, objectification, and irresponsibility.

Fertility is not a disease but a natural state. We chose NFP because it is completely chemical free, does not require pills with carcinogenic properties, and is a choice which brings us closer together.

But most importantly, we chose NFP because it allows us to grow in grace and in love.
Our nature as humans is to demand what we need, want, and have a right to. We like to take more than give because giving can hurt.  Marriage is dying to self and as the priest in our wedding Mass put it, we are to die to ourselves so we can be completely one. We must die to ourselves in order to receive the grace we so desperately need. And that dying to self brings with it life!

There is grace present in the communication that needs to happen between us. Grace in the trust that we must have in God and His plans for us, the trust in each other to be selfless, and the trust that we will be faithful to our wedding vows. Our marriage is a Sacrament that is filled with grace and we refuse to contracept that grace.


Resources: Humanae Vitae and Pope Paul VI

Grace Abounds,

Itzel Duke