Jesus, I trust in You!
In the last few weeks, it has been hard to be Catholic.
It has been hard to be a faithful Catholic and a minister, especially after the recent detailed news of abuse has come to light. It seems like every day there is something else being revealed and I have found myself feeling frustrated, angry, sad, and heartbroken. Overall, I have felt let down by the Church.
I love the Catholic Church. It is my home. Even though I was born into a Catholic family, I made the decision to live out my faith without any prompting from my family. It is the Church where I am employed. It is the Church in which I plan to raise my children. I am watching this Church, which I trust was built upon the rock of Christ, sink and it is impossible to not feel heartbroken.
As I sat in mass this past Sunday, with my husband next to me, I was filled with grief. It was the anniversary of my grandpa's death. He lived his whole life as an agnostic and turned to the Catholic Church on his deathbed; he received the sacraments of reconciliation, Eucharist, and anointing of the sick. And I walked up to Communion with tears in my eyes and as my husband prayed in my ear, I was filled with hope.
That same hope that I was filled with in finding my grandpa had turned to the Mother Church lifted my broken heart. I was reminded of why I am Catholic. It's not because of good priests and bishops (though I know many) or in spite of evil ones (I have heard of many). It is not for the songs or the homilies. It is not for the people who make this broken beautiful Church. It is because I believe in the love of Jesus Christ that is revealed through the Eucharist. I believe that Jesus is who He says He is, and that He meant it when He gave us Himself as bread to eat.
The Catholic Church may be walking through the valley of death but we are defended by the victory of Jesus Christ on the cross. I know that there are many things that must be done and words are not enough, nonetheless we need to pray for the victims and for the future of our Church. The gates of hell will not prevail against it.
Grace Abounds,
Itzel Duke
As you continue to write I will never stop reading!!!
ReplyDeleteWe need to remember that Jesus came for the sick and our beautiful Carhilic Church is a hospital of sinners not a Museum of saints. However, by His merciful Grace and our decision to fully contemplated Him, we have the joy to testify many examples of Holy humans that are saints and we can get there too.
We are, in a way, going through great times because in the mist of evil a beautiful holy church will prevail through holy people that we will get to see.
As Father B. Says KEEP HOPE ALIVE