When Two Become One...

When Brett and I were preparing for marriage, we spent time reading books on marriage together, attended an engagement encounter in our diocese, and communicated as much as we could about marriage. We were aware that there would be challenges and chaos in between the beautiful honeymoon days of our first year of marriage and wanted to be prepared both spiritually and emotionally. Two months ago, we celebrated our one-year anniversary and I have spent the last few weeks reflecting on the beauty of that year, the year we became one. Every time that I reflect on this, the scripture of Genesis 2:24 comes to mind over and over.

Genesis 2:24 tells us: “…[A] man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

The phrase that I’d highlight and look into deeper into is “become one.” That is what happens when a man and a woman enter into holy matrimony. In the creation story, the highlight is on the coming together of the two. Yes, this means a physical union, but it also represents union as a general theme. Brett and I didn't lose our identity when we married; rather, our identity was transformed into something better. There are things that I never would have done before I married him, including playing video games and watching football. Brett would not have spent hours making photo books. There other things that we both had a passion for but, together, have been set on even bigger fire for, like fishing and youth ministry. Our faith is stronger as one. We have only been married for a year but there are spiritual qualities that we each possess that together make us a more faithful, prayerful, and holier couple.

A word of advice for the first year of marriage that we received was to give ourselves a "cocoon period" after our wedding. A cocoon period is taking some time to adjust to our new life, perhaps taking on fewer assignments at work, less social events -- especially without each other --  and intentional communication. Brett and I lived for many years as singles, so it was important to take this time to adjust to our new life. We literally wrapped ourselves up in our new identity as husband and wife, the way a caterpillar does to become a beautiful butterfly. We cocooned into a new, stronger creation. We cocooned into one. Hence, why now I am a big Longhorn football fan. 😂

As the following years of marriage come and go, there will be trials and changes and we will have to adjust our "oneness." As a married couple that can look different at different times: We will have to be one in how we raise our children, make financial and health decisions, decide what ministry or organization we will serve as a couple, and continue to grow into holier people. We pray for our marriage to be a beacon of the love of Christ to those around us, for an increase in faith of God, and for a desire to love and serve him every day with greater strength. We pray for all marriages so that as we encounter everyday life and the years pass on by we may continue to become one and together reach heaven.

( at Texas Longhorn football game)

Grace Abounds, 

Itzel Duke